Parents angry as child rapist walks free. Judge blames pornography

The parents of a five-year-old girl who was raped by a teenage babysitter have attacked a judge who let the boy walk free after claiming online pornography and society was to blame. The 14 year-old, who was a family friend and neighbor, had been asked to look after the girl. He tied an apron round her face and performed a sex act on her. The girl later told her father that the teenager led her to believe he was going to feed her a chocolate.

            The victim's mother, who said her daughter knew what happened was something horrible, has criticized the judge for "making a cheap point about pornography" in sentencing. She believes the sentence "just isn't enough", adding it sent the "wrong message to people - that you can do something like that and get such a light punishment. The judge was more concerned with justifying the sentence by making a cheap point about pornography. It was really cheap to use that as an excuse for what the boy did," she said.

            “The sentence isn't enough. He should be punished. His family was told to expect a three-year custodial sentence so we were shocked when he didn't get one. "If the act is treated as rape, he should be punished for rape and it could stop victims coming forward. What's the point in going through all that? The girl's father said he had trusted the teenager to look after his daughter who was just four when it happened, while they went to watch her older sibling in at a school play. He said they were “feeling completely devastated" after the little girl told them what had happened at her bedtime.

            Her attacker, now 15, told police he "lost his mind" because his "hormones took over". He told officers he had regularly viewed "excessive" pornography on the internet via a laptop at home.

- THE NATION

MY VIEW:

-          Do we blame the “Wise Parents” who left their little girl in the hands of another little boy (14 year old caregiver)?

-          Do we blame the Parents of the 14 year old caregiver who allow him watch pornography?

-          Do we blame the Judge and say his judgment was wrong partial?

WHO DO WE BLAME?

Edna Wey

Man defiled Little Girl then set her on Fire. She Begged: “Don’t Kill Me”

A 9-year-old girl, defiled and set on fire by an unidentified criminal, is currently fighting for life in the intensive care unit of the Red Cross Children’s Hospital. The 27-year-old suspected should reportedly appear in the Bellville Magistrate’s Court today on charges of rape and attempted murder. The girl’s grandmother wept yesterday as she told how she untied her grandchild, who was found lying on rocks on Sunday afternoon.

            “I thought she was dead but she asked for water when she saw me. She was badly burned but she could speak. She told me that she had begged the man not to kill her but he strangled her, drenched her with fuel and set her alight. She said he laughed as she burned.”

            According to reports, the girl disappeared on the way to her father’s place (parents not married) on Saturday night. A neighbor told the grandmother the following day that a child had been found in a nearby field. Soon the heavily burned girl was discovered by her grandmother. The community apprehended a man who had bloodstains on his trousers and was wearing a burnt T-shirt.

-INFORMATION NIGERIA

Man Rapes Pupil, Gives Her N100

            A jobless man, Joseph John, 25, has been arrested by the police at Ilasan Division, Lekki, Lagos State, western Nigeria, for allegedly having unlawful carnal knowledge of an eight-year old girl after luring her to his apartment with N100 to buy suya (a local barbecue). It was alleged that the suspect forcefully had an unprotected sex with the primary 3 pupil through her anus and vagina with his fingers and penis. The little girl in the process sustained serious injuries with blood flowing from her private part and was later rushed to a nearby hospital where she is receiving treatment.

            The incident, according to the police, occurred at Chisco Waterside, off Kusenla Road, Ikate, Elegushin, Lekki , where the suspect and the victim reside. It was reported that the little girl was sent on an errand by her parents when the suspect accosted her on the way and demanded to know where she was going. The girl reportedly told the suspect that she was sent on an errand by her mother but the suspect allegedly told her to follow him to his apartment to collect N100 for suya. On getting to his apartment, the suspect reportedly forced the little girl down on the ground, tore her pants and forcefully had an unprotected sex with her, using his fingers and penis to penetrate her anus and vagina.

            P.M.NEWS learnt that the mother of the victim became aware that her daughter was sexually abused when she noticed blood stains on the little girl’s buttocks. The mother examined the girl’s private part and discovered blood flowing from her vagina. When asked how she got the injury, the little told her mother that “Uncle Joseph used his hand and penis to do the thing”, pointing her hand to her private part. The mother raised the alarm which drew the attention of her neighbours who later assisted her to take the girl to the hospital for treatment. The police were also invited and they arrested the suspect.

            During interrogation, John allegedly confessed to the crime that he raped the little girl because he was jobless and could not raise money to woo a mature girl for sex. After investigation, the suspect was charged before Igbosere Magistrate’s Court on a count charge of rape. The offence, the prosecutor said, is punishable under Section 259 of Criminal Laws of Lagos State, 2011. This section prescribes life imprisonment for anyone found guilty of sexual assault by penetration. The accused pleaded not guilty to the charge and the presiding magistrate, Justice O. O. Oshin admitted him on bail in the sum of N250, 000 with two sureties in like sum. The chief magistrate adjourned the matter till February 5,2014 for mention.  The suspect was, however, taken to Ikoyi Prisons in Lagos State pending when he will fulfil his bail conditions.

—Paul Iyoghojie (PM NEWS)

Criminalising Rape And Child Abuse Offences

            The issue of rape in today’s society, especially in Nigeria, is beginning to take the center stage, occupying front pages of both local and national dailies. Today, the issue of rape has gone beyond a matter of  sex without consent between a stronger male and a weak female or between one weak female and two or more stronger male. There have been cases where defenseless females were gang-raped by stronger male in most bizarre circumstances. There has been call from different quarters including NGOs on the need for tougher punishment for rapists and pedophiles.  In Lagos State, for instance, the State Government has been working hard to ensure that no child abuser goes unpunished. The Lagos state government recently organised stakeholders’ forum, in collaboration with the United Nations International Children Educational Fund, UNICEF, on ‘Prevention of Sex Abuse in Lagos’. A highlight of the forum is the need for culprits of rape cases to be prosecuted under the provision of criminal offences as against the provisions of the Child Rights Law in order to stem the tide of these inhuman behaviors. This, according to participants at the forum, would signal an end to these vices in our society.

            Participants at the forum also advocated a close monitoring on children exposing themselves to the various social networks which could in turn make them vulnerable to abuses from older ones. They said the responsibility of safe-guarding children should not be seen as the exclusive preserve of government, but rather as a joint responsibility involving the police, social workers, teachers, lawyers, media practitioners and especially parents who should play their own part in addressing the menace from its formative stage and from the perspective of the law.

            However, it is rather sad that the resolve of government and other stakeholders to seriously address the issue of rape in the country is not being helped by the provisions of the law. Unfortunately, in this regard, the punishment stipulates by the law for rape offenders is, to say the least, too mild. Hence, it has not served its intended purpose of discouraging rape offenders as cases of child abuses and rape keeps increasing. According to statistics from Partnership for Justice, a Lagos-based human rights organisation, cases of rape have been in the increase in places such as Oshodi, Ikeja, Agege and Ketu in Lagos State. Managing partner of the group, Itoro Eze-Anaba, disclosed this recently during the opening of the Marabel Centre – a sexual assault and referral centre – located at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, LASUTH.

            According to the statistics, from July to November 25, 2013, the centre offered free services to 124 rape victims in the state. This figure only represents the few who could summon courage to seek for professional help. A larger number of sexually abused victims often prefer to bear their indignation in silence for obvious reasons. If we are to really tackle the issue of rape head-long, we would need to take a cue from some countries that had already criminalised sexual and other related abuses against children. In Scotland and England, for instance, rape had been criminalised for over two decades. It would not be out of place if Nigeria borrows a leaf from these countries with a view to addressing loopholes in our laws.

            Another controversial aspect of the rape issue is what should really be classified as rape. Going by the definition of rape, every form of sex without consent is rape, whether it takes place within a marriage or any other kind of relationship. Gone are those days when a woman is believed to have no legal protection from rape by her husband. Rape within marriage and other relationships is now clearly recognised within the law. Sexual relationship within or outside marriage should be consensual and anything contrary to this falls under rape. Recently, Alex Ojuala reportedly hypnotised his wife, Mrs. Glory Ojuala, who is a nursing mother, for three days in order to have sex with her, just a few days after she was delivered of a baby at her matrimonial home in Lagos.

            For a society beset with horrendous crimes against women, it is pertinent for our lawmakers to combat this new wave of criminality and violence of man’s inhumanity to the younger ones and women in general by pursuing a bill on this rape issue with the same zeal deployed in prevailing over the issue of same sex marriage and other laudable legislations. Also, the authorities concerned with enforcement of laws in this regard should not be slack in doing so because it is only when the relevant laws are implemented to the letter that the propensity for rape would be checked.

            Government agencies such as the Ministry of Education should as a matter of urgency remove the veil used in covering issues similar to this all in the name of keeping some information away from them which they believed the children are not ripe enough to know. Sex Education should be re-introduced in the education system for students in secondary schools and ensure that children are elaborately educated and oriented on the various indicators of sexual abuse. Parents should yield to the call from government, especially the Lagos State Government that all children within school age should not be seen hawking during school hours as doing this portends greater risk to them and make them vulnerable to abuses.

            One would love to recount the words of the late president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela: “safety and security don’t just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children , women and other vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear.” How apt!

- Ayo Afuwape

Drama in court as Victim withdraws case against Rapist

There was drama at a Port Harcourt Senior Magistrate Court when an illiterate rape victim, Ms Blessing (surname withheld), decided she was no longer interested in the case against the suspect, after reportedly being paid N10,000 (58USD). The intrigue occurred after the 27 year old suspect, Mr. Chukwunonso Eze, was docked for allegedly raping Blessing after threatening and forcing her into submission to his immoral conduct while wielding a cutlass. Eze allegedly raped his victim­ on July 5, 2012 at No. 9 Psychiatric Road, Rumuigbo, Port Harcourt, Rivers state. Although the trial senior magistrate, Mrs. U.V. Erekosima, had earlier told the accused person that she had no powers to hear the case against the suspect, she however granted him bail in the sum of N100,000­ following the drama.­

            The court allowed the bail on the ground of the application for withdrawal filed by the complainant. In it, she had stated her lack of interest to continue with the matter. The application, which was supported by a six-paragraph affidavit and identified in the court by the complainant, showed that the parents of the accused person had waded into the matter, and pleaded on behalf of their son, an appealed to the complainant to forgive him.

            A copy of the application obtained by Nation Evening Express, which was signed by the victim, ­read in part:­“My decision to withdraw my case against the accused is borne out of wide consultations and compromises between me and the accused who has shown considerable remorse for his actions and as such I believe that it is unnecessary to continue with this case.”The 3rd paragraph continued: “In the circumstance, I crave the indulgence of your worship to oblige my request and quash the said charges against the accused and strike of the suit.” Although the magistrate expressed her handicap in quashing and striking out the case after the victim had been made to publicly identify the document as emanating from her, decided to send the case file to the Director of Public Prosecution (DPP) for legal advice.The case was subsequently adjourned.

            But in our interaction ­with the victim, a service girl in a­ Bukka (local restaurant), showed that she could ­neither read nor­ write and did not understand the content of the withdrawal application that was purported to have emanated from her. Nation Evening Express gathered that the orphan, who was always sent out whenever the issue of the assault on her was being discussed, did not know what the N30, 000 the accused family agreed to offer her was meant for. According to our investigations, the victim was given N10, 000 out of the N30, 000 agreed on her behalf, when the bail processes ­was almost completed.

            It was reliably gathered that the ­negotiator ­was a young employee (the restaurant operator), who was equally noticed running about in the court with the mother of the accused. The defense counsel had earlier urged the court to quash and strike out the case on the ground that the victim had indicated her desire not to proceed ­with the case­ in­ her application for withdrawal. The prosecution led by Inspector Goodluck Adoe did not raise any objections to the application of the lawyer, because of the­ new development. He, however, appealed to the court to seriously caution the accused person to repent of his ills and turn a new leaf.

THE NATION 17/07/2012

My View: It’s Unfortunate. Such incidents are the dividends of Illiteracy and Poverty on a people.

Edna Wey

Nigerians Among Top Eight Races that Excel in US

            

Controversial Yale professor Amy Chua and her husband Jed Rubenfeld have named Nigerians among the eight leading races with the ability to excel over and above others in the United States. According to the couple, some groups in America are inherently more likely to succeed than others pointing at the ease with which Nigerians earn doctoral degrees. The couple also noted that Indian and Chinese Americans earn much higher incomes than other Americans while the Jews are top of the table reinforced by intense discipline, determination, and not given to fleeting impulse.

            In their new book, ‘The Triple Package: How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise and Fall of Cultural Groups in America,’ the two Yale professors said their research showed Nigerians as well as Jews, Indians, Chinese, Iranians, Lebanese-Americans, Cuban exiles and Mormons were in the category of certain races bound to succeed in America. These cultural groups, the authors added, have three easily identifiable traits: the superiority complex, insecurity and impulse control with each group believing it is exceptional, chosen and superior in some ways, while at the same time exhibiting a lack of confidence that prompts them along, thus creating the need for further improvement.

            The authors also gave what may be a debatable insight why some groups, including African-Americans, might not have what it takes to reach the top. The authors added: “It may be taboo to say but some groups in America do better than others. Mormons have recently risen to astonishing business success. Cubans in Miami climbed from poverty to prosperity in a generation. Nigerians earn doctorates at stunningly high rates. Indian and Chinese Americans have much higher incomes than other Americans; Jews may have the highest of all.”

            Hua and Rubenfeld may not have recognised that beyond doctorates, a new generation of Nigerians mostly highly educated as well, are making stunning success in corporate America and are joining the billionaires club of successful entrepreneurs. Last July for example, Chinedu Echeruo sold his online city transit guide HopStop to Apple for an estimated $1 billion.  HopStop before then had been named one of the 100 fastest growing companies in the US in 2011.

            Echeruo represents one among the many as Onyeani, a Nigerian US-based publisher, hold promise for Nigeria’s potential greatness different from the fraudulent ones  that the New York Times loves writing on who give the country a bad image.  Michael Adeniyi CEO of New York-based Simaden Capital also noted there were many unknown and successful businessmen like Echeruo in the US wishing to come home and partner with the federal and state governments.

            Also recently, New York Controller General who spoke through a proxy during the Goodluck Support Group dinner at the New York Millennium Plaza said New Yorkers were proud of the value Nigerians were adding to the total growth and economic development of the country. According to Nigeria’s Ambassador to the US, Professor Ade Adefuye, America is home to over one million Nigerian-Americans and twice that number live and work in various parts of the US contributing constructively to the social and economic development of the country.

            “We do take pride in the description of Nigerians as the most literate set of immigrants in America. There is no single recognised profession in the US that Nigerians have not distinguished themselves. Nigerians are law abiding. The image of the ugly Nigerians has disappeared. Most Nigerians in the US are bold, brave, bright and beautiful,” Adefuye said.

Nduka Nwosu – New York (THISDAY N.P)

My View: What a relief for my country’s image... lol. But without mincing words I disagree with statement of the Nigerian Ambassador to the U.S, Prof Ade Adefuye when he said- “Nigerians are law abiding. The image of the ugly Nigerians has disappeared”. That is sooooooooo... false. The image of a corrupt Nigeria and Nigerians has become more visible than ever.

Edna Wey

Morocco amends controversial Rape- Marriage Law

            The parliament of Morocco has unanimously amended an article of the penal code that allowed rapists of underage girls to avoid prosecution by marrying their victims, British Broadcasting Corporation reports. The move follows intensive lobbying by activists for better protection of young rape victims. The amendment has been welcomed by rights groups.

            Article 475 of the penal code generated unprecedented public criticism. It was first proposed by Morocco’s Islamist-led government a year ago but the issue came to public prominence in 2012 when 16-year-old Amina Filali killed herself after being forced to marry her rapist. She accused Moustapha Fellak, who at the time was about 25, of physical abuse after they got married, which he denies. After seven months of marriage, Filali swallowed rat poison. The case shocked many people in Morocco, received extensive media coverage and sparked protests in the capital (Rabat) and other cities.

            Article 475 provides for a prison term of one to five years for anyone who “abducts or deceives” a minor “without violence, threat or fraud, or attempts to do so”. But the second clause of the article specifies that when the victim marries the perpetrator, “he can no longer be prosecuted except by persons empowered to demand the annulment of the marriage and then only after the annulment has been proclaimed”. This effectively prevents prosecutors from independently pursuing rape charges. In conservative rural parts of Morocco, an unmarried girl or woman who has lost her virginity – even through rape – is considered to have dishonored her family and no longer suitable for marriage. Some families believe that marrying the rapist addresses these problems.

            While welcoming the move, rights groups say that much still needs to be done to promote gender equality, protect women and outlaw child marriage in the North African country. “It’s a very important step. But it’s not enough,” Fatima Maghnaoui, who heads a group supporting women victims of violence, told the AFP news agency. “We are campaigning for a complete overhaul of the penal code for women.”

SOURCE: PUNCH 24/01/14

My View:  Its good to know some countries are stepping up. Being raped is bad enough, forcing the Victim to marry the Rapist is barbaric, unacceptable and an infringement on human rights. Encouraging such verdict as a solution will as well mean that any man can rape any woman whom he has probably showed love interest and has been refusing. Rape will then become the easy way out, because after rape, he knows she will to forced to marry him. This is crazy...

Edna Wey

WHO DO WE BLAME?

Its unfortunate... A man taking advantage of his maid is a common happening in Nigeria and the rest of the world as well. But it surprised me more that after this tweet was posted, some people began to point fingers at the 12 year old maid (the victim), calling her a harlot & "HUSBAND SNATCHER". It is the habit of majority in my home country to blame the victim before the Rapist, despite all the education and publicity on child abuse and domestic violence.  I wonder when we will be ready to move forward in Nigeria.

Who do we blame here?
- The married "he-goat" whose marriage is barely 2 year old and his wife is not enough for him?
- The maid, who is still a child and is yet to understand her purpose in life?
- The woman of the house who has to go to work everyday? should she not have a good sleep at night because of a randy husband?
- Do we blame the parents of the little girl who neglected their responsibility and sold their girl to modern slavery?
- Should we blame the government who has refused to put an age limit on persons fit to work as a maid (if you ask me, no maid/nanny should be less than 18 years of age)?

WHO DO WE BLAME?

Edna Wey!

School principal, 6 other homosexuals stoned in Bauchi court.

There was pandemonium at the Upper Court 4 in Anguwan Jaki, Bauchi, Nigeria, yesterday, as an angry  mob almost lynched seven suspected homosexuals brought to court for trial. One of the suspects was identified as the Principal of a Government Secondary School in the state. The development forced security personnel at the court premises to rescue the suspects by firing gunshots in the air and using teargas to disperse the mob.
The suspects are Ibrahim Marafa, Shehu Adamu, Yusuf Adamu, Aliyu Dalhatu, Abdulmalik Tanko, Usman Sabo and Hazif Sabo Abubakar. The angry mob hurled stones at the van carrying them as it sped dangerously back to prison. A few people sustained injuries in the process. The suspects faced charges of allegedly engaging in gay activities in Bauchi State, an action that contravenes the Islamic laws which the state is operating.

            Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Haruna Mohammed, said the suspects were arrested by the Bauchi State Sharia Commission.
The atmosphere around the court was tense as the suspects came out of the court with the mob reigning abuses and pelting them with stones. Earlier, inside the rowdy court, counsel to the Sharia Commission, Danlami Ayuba, told the court that one of the suspects was identified as Ibrahim Marafa, the Principal of Government Secondary School, Mainamaji. When the case was slated for hearing, counsel to the suspect, Abdul Musa, said he was not ready and sought for bail for his client to enable them study the charges. The bail application was rejected by the counsel to the Sharia commission.

            The presiding judge, El-Yaqub Aliyu, refused to grant the bail and adjourned the case till Monday to enable the prosecutors present their witness.
Similarly the State Sharia Commission counsel paraded six other suspects. When their case was mentioned, the presiding judge cautioned the Sharia commission’s counsel to ensure that they had proper evidence on the accused persons before arraigning them.

VANGUARD - 23/01/2014

INCEST IN NIGERIA

Incest is a sexual contact between persons who are closely related by blood or association. This usually takes the form of an older family member sexually abusing a child or an adolescent. In Africa, incest has become rampant but with fewer victims who decide to speak up. The percentage of those you see speaking up is way lower than the true statistics. It’s difficult to know how many people are affected by incest because many incest situations never get reported. We hear about such cases; we even know the victims, but majority are not willing to go public.

             In my home county Nigeria, it is common amongst the Rich, the middle class and the Poor in the society (I hear from a grapevine that it has become more rampant among the “RICH”). Victims prefer to stay silent because of the fear of stigmatization and also the shame such embarrassment may bring to the family. Some victims are being told that what is happening to them is normal or happens in every other family. The victim may not know that help is available or who they can talk to. Along the line, some of them get to sense that what they are experiencing is wrong and may be afraid of what will happen if they tell someone. Abusers usually threaten victims in various ways to keep them quiet. Some bribe the victims with what the victim likes to buy to keep them quiet. The victim may care about the abuser and be afraid of what will happen if they tell. They may be afraid that no one will believe them or that the person they confide in will tell the abuser.

            All forms of sexual abuse can have negative long-term effects on the victim. Incest is more damaging because it disrupts a person’s primary support system; the family. It is not only children who experience incest. Adolescents and adults also do. This has a lasting psychological effect on adult victims. When a person is abused by someone outside the family, it is a bitter pill to swallow but it becomes even worse when the abuser is a family member.

            In today’s world, incest had made it very difficult knowing who to trust, especially with our children. Parents have become more sceptical about sending their children to the home of relatives to spend the Holidays (compared to what obtains many years ago while I was growing up). Recovering from an incest attack can be very hard for a victim. Incest can damage a child’s ability to trust, since the people who were supposed to protect and care for them have abused them. Adult survivors of incest sometimes have difficulty developing trusting relationships. It can also be very damaging for a child if a non-abusing parent is aware of the abuse and chooses not to take action to stop it ( like the case of Aziza Kibibi, whose mother watched her father rape her for more than two decades, resulting in five pregnancies). The non-abusing parent may feel that they are dependent on the abuser for shelter or income. The non-abusing parent may feel that allowing the incest to continue is the only way to keep their partner. Unfortunately, many non-abusing parents are aware of the incest and choose not to get their child out of the situation, or worse, to blame their child for what has happened. This makes the long-term effects of incest become worse.

How can incest be reduced?

            Parents should learn to be more responsible and create time for their children. Sex education to children at a very early age is essential. We should try as much as possible to discipline children but also not instil fear in them. Your children should respect and not fear you. If all they feel is fear, they will not open up whenever such incidents happen to them. When a child becomes an adolescent, try to be involved in the teenagers’ life. Find out more about the company your child keeps. If you have to send your children on holidays, before they go, educate them properly on sex education and how they can be cautious in any new environment. Make them understand that NO UNCLE OR AUNTY should touch their sensitive areas or show them theirs for fun.

Most importantly, MAKE YOUR CHILD SEE YOU LIKE A “FRIEND”...

PS: If you are currently experiencing sexual abuse or know someone who has, WE CAN HELP!!!

 Communicate with us: evesworldinternational@gmail.com

-          Edna Wey!

HOW TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM SEXUAL ASSAULT

Parents are surrounded by messages about child sexual abuse. Talk shows and TV news warn parents about dangers at school, in the home and on the Internet. Despite all the media coverage, parents don’t get much advice on how to talk to their children about sexual abuse and how to prevent it. Talk to your children about sexuality and sexual abuse in age-appropriate terms as they grow from the age of 3.

·         Talking openly and directly about sexuality teaches children that it is okay to talk to you when they have questions or issues.

·         Teach children the names of their body parts so that they have the language to ask questions and express concerns about those body parts.

·         Teach children that some parts of their body are private.

·         Let children know that other people should not be touching or looking at their private parts unless they need to touch them to provide care. If someone does need to touch them in those private areas, a parent or trusted caregiver should be there, too.

·         Tell children that if someone tries to touch those private areas or wants to look at them, OR if someone tries to show the child their own private parts, they should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.

·         All children should be told that it’s okay to say “no” to touches that make them uncomfortable and that they should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.

·         Work with your child to find ways to greet people that don’t involve uncomfortable kinds of touch.

·         Talking openly about sexuality and sexual abuse also teaches children that these things don’t need to be “secret.” Abusers will sometimes tell a child that the abuse is a secret. Let your children know that if someone is touching them or talking to them in ways that make them uncomfortable that it shouldn’t stay a secret.

·         Make sure to tell your child that that they will not get into trouble if they tell you this kind of secret.

·         Don’t try to put all this information into one big “talk” about sex. Take it slow.

·         Talking about sexuality and sexual abuse should be routine conversations.

Be involved in your child’s life.

·         Be interested in your child’s activities.

·         Ask your child about the people they go to school with or play with.

·         If your child is involved in sports, go to games and practices. Get to know the other parents and coaches.

·         If your child is involved in after school activities or day-care, ask them what they did during the day.

·         If your child watches a lot of television or plays video games, watch or play with them from time to time. Many TV channels show sexual violence of different kinds. Some video games allow the user to engage in sexual violence.

·         Know the other adults that your child might talk to. Know the other trusted adults in your child’s life.

When you empower your child to say “no” to unwanted touch and teach them that they can come to you with questions and concerns, you take critical steps to preventing child sexual abuse.

Edna Wey!

RAINN

WHERE WE DEY GO FOR THIS COUNTRY....?

I just love Thursdays…

            I had a good evening with my Association members at our meeting today. When it was time for A.O.B I decided to speak about the Vision of EVE’s WORLD Int. on the floor of the house. I sold an idea to my fellow members that as part of our project for the New Year, we should include a programme to Educate Teenagers on Sex Education. Having heard my speech (with live examples attached to complement my vision), I was glad it didn’t take long to get them all to understand my views. But I realized there were three different schools of thought. One class felt the Project was a good one, laudable and should be supported to any level. Another class felt it may be too much for us to handle and we should probably live the project for N.G.Os or international organizations.

            The last school of thought, which was the most intriguing, felt we have to be cautious. Cautious because of the cultural and religious beliefs in our society. This group felt that going round high schools to preach sexual education to children may not go down well with some Parents .This class of persons also believe that some parents may go to the extent of withdrawing their children from the school if they find out. They gave some valuable reasons to buttress their point which were correct. It’s unfortunate but also 100% true, even after many parents neglect their responsibility to do the teaching.

We have two major problems in my home country in terms of sex education;

1.      Religion

2.      Culture (Tradition)

The white men who introduced religion to Africa are currently scared of us because we have become extremists.  Our so called Culture and Traditions has made us myopic and narrow minded. My country people, WHERE ARE WE GOING?

In terms of development, are we moving forward or dancing in circles?

Edna Wey! 

MARY SLESSOR FOUNDATION RESCUES 16 YEAR OLD TWIN GIRL CAGED FOR 30 MONTHS BY PARENTS

A group, Mary Slessor Twins Foundation, Wednesday rescued a 16- year-old girl, Miss Blessing Olokumo, locked in a wooden cage for over two and half years by her parents, over her alleged strange ailment, which they attributed to witchcraft.

             Blessing, who is a twin, according to the preliminary investigations conducted by the group, was diagnosed with a strange illness over nine years ago. The ailment always triggered convulsion. The illness, according to the acting President of the group, Tonyon Ebitei Robert, led to the isolation of the girl by her parents, because she was always “soiling the house.” The father of the caged child, who is a also a twin and a security guard at the Niger Delta University Teaching Hospital in Okolobiri, allegedly built the cage and locked up his daughter to keep her away from the main house.  “She was kept like a rabbit. She was given food when it was available and was allowed to sleep in her vomit, faeces and urine. She had lost weight and could have died”. The father was said to be an indigene of the Ayibatari Community in Kolokuma / Opokuma Local Council of the state.

             Ebeitie Roberts told reporters that the group, which is known for its campaign against maltreatment of twins in the state, was contacted by concerned indigenes of Okolobiri community where the Olokumo family resides. It was also gathered that the first trip of the members of the group to the Okolobiri community nearly ended in tragedy with some strange occurrences and refusal of the father to let them see the caged child, “but during the next trip, he handed the child to us.” The child has been taken to the Teaching Hospital for proper medical treatment on the bill of the Mary Slessor Twins Foundation.

            Attempts to speak with the girl’s parents failed. But some indigenes of the community condemned the act, describing it as callous and wicked. Ebitei Robert told newsmen that the group would lodge a formal complaint with the state headquarters of the Nigeria Police and the Welfare Department of the State Ministry of Women Affairs, “criminal child abduction, inhuman treatment, child molestation and failure to enroll the child for proper education would be brought against her parents.


Guardian - 22/01/2014

MAN ACCUSED OF RAPING FIVE BOYS

The Edo State Police Command on Tuesday paraded a 33-year-old man, Justine Oliseh, for allegedly engaging in sexual intercourse with five underage boys. Also paraded for child defilement was 60-year old Benjamin Amadin, who was accused of defiling a nine-year-old girl. Oliseh, who confessed to sleeping with the boys, however, told our correspondent he defiled only four as against five being alleged against him by the police, saying he resorted to the act after being jilted by his girlfriends. He said, “It is about four of them (boys). What happened was that when my girlfriend broke my heart, I tried another; it was the same. So I started sleeping with the children. Their age ranged between 11 and 14 years. “They always come to greet me and I usually apply cream. It was on January 1, 2014 that I was caught.” Amadin, however, denied having sexual intercourse with the nine-year-old, saying he was framed. He said, “My wife died in September 2013 and I just finished her burial. Because I did not pay four months house rent, the woman that collects the rent set me up. I am innocent.”

PUNCH- 22/01/2014    

 

Edna Wey – “wonders shall never end. He has the guts to say he molested ONLY FOUR out of five”?

My Father started defiling me from age 8 and I had kids for him - Daughter of MTV Video Director Confesses

Aziza Kibibi was only eight-years-old when her father – an MTV award-winning music video director – started defiling her. By 10, Aswad Ayinde’s lessons teaching his daughter ‘how to be a woman’ turned violent and his regular defiling produced five children out of inc*st in a perverse attempt to create a ‘pure’ bloodline. Ayinde, who is also known as Charles McGill and won fame after directing The Fugees’ ‘Killing Me Softly’ video, was sentenced to 50 years in prison on July 26, finally ending Kibibi’s nightmare.

The incredibly brave woman, who is now 35, married and running a promising baking business, spoke out about the traumatic childhood this week for the first time. Kibibi revealed her childhood started off relatively normal. She lived with her mother and father on the third-floor of an apartment in Paterson, New Jersey, with her Jamaican immigrant grandparents living below.

Kibibi was home-schooled but still allowed to play with the neighbourhood children. When her family grew to include eight children they moved into a bigger apartment in the same building. It was when Kibibi started to mature that her father started giving her unwanted attention. ‘He told me I was special. Initially, it was to teach me to be a woman,’ she said. ‘By the time he started having intercourse with me, he was getting more and more violent. When I would start fighting him, he would hit me. It was more about threats.’

Her father began to change, and became more controlling over the family. He moved them out of their grandparent’s apartment to another house in Paterson before relocating to Eatontown in Southern New Jersey. The children were only allowed to watch a small amount of TV, and nothing that depicted traditional family life. Modern medicine was outlawed in the house, and he actually told his wife that his relations with Kibibi were to treat her eczema.

Kibibi wasn’t the only one Ayinde was having s*x with. He had a mistress – a Manhattan lawyer whom he had another two children with – and was also abusing one of Kibibi’s sisters. He called himself a polygamist and a prophet. His family was allowed to pray to god but could only do so through him. ‘He said the world was going to end, and it was just going to be him and his offspring and that he was chosen,’ his ex-wife, Beverly Ayinde testified at a 2010 pre-trial hearing. She said he was attempting to create a ‘pure’ bloodline by procreating with his daughters. When Kibibi’s first child was born without defects, Ayinde took it as proof and continued to rape the girl to get her pregnant.

But the following children would not be so lucky. Two further daughters born from her father would be diagnosed with phenylketonuria (PKU) a disease that prevents the body from breaking down amino acids. PKU can cause brain damage and seizures. Dr. Anna Haroutunian, a PKU specialist who has treated Kibibi’s children, said they definitely got the disease because of inbreeding.

PKU is a recessive gene, so both parents must have the gene in order for it to pass along to the child. The gene only appears at a rate of 1 in 4,000 worldwide and is must lower for African-Americans. Likely Kibibi’s paternal grandfather had the gene. Over the years, Kibibi became obsessed with escaping. She would sleep just because her dreams were better than real life.

‘I’d dream about running away. I’d dream about getting all my brothers and sisters — one of my sisters was a baby, and I was taking care of her — I’d dream about growing br**sts and getting milk and running away with them somewhere,’ she said.

When she was older and one of her sons fell sick, she finally got the courage to take him to the hospital since Ayinde was out of town on a business trip. But she didn’t know how to interact with the doctors and a social worker stepped in, alerting the Department of Youth a Family Services. When Ayinde returned from his business trip he was enraged, and threatened to forcibly remove his son from the hospital. Child services stepped in before he could do that and placed them in separate homes.

After that Kibibi, her mother and her sisters moved away from Ayinde as she attempted to get her children back. Her performance in state-mandated courses and counseling impressed the government officials and eventually her children were returned to her. ‘She has been an exceptional mother,’ Haroutunian said. ‘She was so attentive and patient, it’s remarkable. For a young girl – with all she’s had – she has been just wonderful.’ Having to fight to get her children back also empowered Kibibi, and translated to her life after abuse. She now lives in East Orange, New Jersey with her husband. She went back to school for her GED and will finish her liberal arts degree from Essex County College this fall. She also runs her own baking business and plans to start a restaurant someday. Kibibi and her sister decided to finally bring charges against their abusive father. They delayed pressing charges since they were unsure the affect it would have on the children.

She shared her story in hopes of making a difference with those in a similar situation. ‘Instead of just being an experience that I had, maybe this strengthened me. What doesn’t break us makes us stronger.’

Information Nigeria

HOW MY FATHER RAPED ME AT 17

A 17-year-old female student of Takoradi Senior High School (name withheld) revealed in an interview that her biological father broke her virginity and has been having sexual intercourse with her for the past nine months, at his Adiembra residence near Sekondi. According to the girl, her father who was sojourning in Spain returned to Ghana December last year and that was when it all started. “At the age of 16, I had not slept with any boy or man, but my father returned from Spain last December and started having s*x with me,” she said.
The girl said her parents were divorced and her father was the one taking care of her so he threatened to stop supporting her if she told anybody. “If my father doesn’t pay my fees no one will do it. My mother does not have the means to take care of me in school so I was afraid to inform anybody about my ordeal; not even my mother,” the victim claimed.
She also revealed that her father stopped her from going to church in fear that she might inform some of the church leaders of what he had been doing to her.
The girl indicated that on Friday August 23, 2013, after she had returned from school her father demanded to have s*x with her but she refused and he gathered all her belongings including school uniforms, text and exercise books and set them ablaze. “After that he still wanted to have s*x with me so I run away to a neighbour’s house and it was there that I broke the news to some of the residents.
It was learnt that personnel of the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVSSU) of the Ghana Police Service in Sekondi yesterday arrested the father and placed him in custody pending further investigations, after a report was made. Also, a medical report form was issued to the 17-year-old girl to attend hospital after which the accused person was arrested.