MOLESTED BY MY UNCLE

Dear E.W.I,

I’m glad to read your welcome address and I say kudos to you because it is a laudable cause. It is not going to be an easy task in terms of getting men and women to speak up. Most people will rather stay quiet. I choose to be anonymous in my letter, or better still refer to me as Ann.

My name is Ann and I’m in my 30’s. I live in U.K. with my husband and 3 children, while we expect our 4^th child. My parents were religious people, disciplinarians and encouraged the “small work, small play” strategy in raising my siblings and me. At the age of 7 years old, my mum’s cousin (my uncle) came to live with us. He was about 17-20year old as at then. My siblings and I were all close to him because he was really good to us. At night, my uncle slept in the living room and sometimes I would live my bed to watch late night movies on TV and cuddle up with him innocently.

On such nights, when I started dozing off, my uncle would fondle with my pubic area with his fingers and I enjoyed it to the point that it made me sleepy, and then I would go to my room. He never penetrated or had sex with me of any kind. He dint make it a big deal in any way, so at 7 year old I felt it was o.k.

In my final year at high school, I got talking with a group of friends one day about sex education. It was in the midst of that discussion after other girls had shared different testimonies that I got to know what my uncle did to me back then was wrong and could be defined as CHILD MOLESTATION. This was about 10 years after the occurrence.

The issue is, am married with 4 kids but till date am yet to tell my parents about it because they are very old now and I would not want to sadden their hearts. I haven’t seen this uncle of mine since I was 10 years old. I regularly hear cases of how girls are being raped by relatives and am glad mine did not get to that. Today, am scared to send my children to spend holidays with my parents, siblings, in-laws or friends. I also do not allow relatives to live with us. These are part of the measures I take to protect my children. I started teaching my daughters about sex education at the age of 5. I teach them to know that it is not o.k. for anyone to touch them in sensitive places. Where I come from, sex education is not a topic for children until we feel they are “matured” enough. Often time when they become so called “matured enough” it becomes too late. At the rate sexual abuse increases daily I can’t trust my kids with anyone.

I sincerely wish you the best in this project and pray you touch the world.

Signed,

Anna.